The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Laws worth reading
Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, ur nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Nails - You feel the need of using nails the day you trim them.
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, ur nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Nails - You feel the need of using nails the day you trim them.
Who is dumber?
There were these two professors arguing over which one had the dumber child. Each professor thought his was the bigger idiot. The first professor yells "There is no way that your son is dumber. My son has to be THE stupidest kid on Earth."
The second professor says "No way, Jose. My son is the bigger idiot."
The first professor says "Let me prove it to you. Hey Jake! (Jake runs to his father) I don't know if I left myself at the office or not. Would you run there and find out. If I'm there then tell me to come home and eat dinner."
The son says, gleefully, "Sure dad" and runs off.
The second professor not to be outdone says "Oh Yea! Watch this! Hey Sam! Come here! (Sam runs to his father) Here are two pennies. With one penny buy a car and the other buy a microwave."
Sam says "OK." and leaves. The professors keep arguing.
Jay and Sam meet in the street. And they start arguing which one has the dumber father. Jay says, "Well listen. My father told me to find out if he is at the office or not. Well all he had to do was to call the office and find out himself. Two minutes and he would be done. That is stupid if I've ever heard it."
Sam says "Well that is nothing. My dad told me to buy a car with one penny and a microwave with the other. But he didn't tell me which penny was for the car and which one is for the microwave."
The second professor says "No way, Jose. My son is the bigger idiot."
The first professor says "Let me prove it to you. Hey Jake! (Jake runs to his father) I don't know if I left myself at the office or not. Would you run there and find out. If I'm there then tell me to come home and eat dinner."
The son says, gleefully, "Sure dad" and runs off.
The second professor not to be outdone says "Oh Yea! Watch this! Hey Sam! Come here! (Sam runs to his father) Here are two pennies. With one penny buy a car and the other buy a microwave."
Sam says "OK." and leaves. The professors keep arguing.
Jay and Sam meet in the street. And they start arguing which one has the dumber father. Jay says, "Well listen. My father told me to find out if he is at the office or not. Well all he had to do was to call the office and find out himself. Two minutes and he would be done. That is stupid if I've ever heard it."
Sam says "Well that is nothing. My dad told me to buy a car with one penny and a microwave with the other. But he didn't tell me which penny was for the car and which one is for the microwave."
Better late than never
A recent retiree was given a set of golf clubs as a parting gift by his former co-workers.
He had never golfed before.
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons and explained to him that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing and then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup." the pro finally said, once he was able to speak again.
"Oh great!" the beginner replied, "and you tell me NOW!!!!"
The pro fainted.
********************************
Ninety-four-year-old Mrs. Hatcher showed up at her lawyer's office one Monday morning.
"I want you to begin divorce proceedings," she announced.
The lawyer was aghast.
When he regained his composure, he said, "Mrs. Hatcher, you and your husband have been married for over seventy years.
What in the world could have happened to make you want to get divorced at this stage in your life?"
Mrs. Hatcher looked him squarely in the eye.
She cleared her throat and said, "We wanted to wait until all the children were dead."
********************************
Shizo Kanakuri has been celebrated as "Father of marathon" in Japan.
He is best known for disappearing during the marathon race in the 1912 Summer Olympics.
He lost his consciousness during the race due to the heat and was cared for by a farming family.
He returned to Japan without notifying race officials.
Swedish authorities considered him missing for 50 years before discovering that he was living in Japan and had competed in intervening Olympic marathons.
In 1966 he was contacted by Swedish Television and offered to complete his run.
He accepted and completed the Marathon in 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 20.3 seconds.
Surely a record that will last forever!
*****************************
He had never golfed before.
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons and explained to him that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing and then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup." the pro finally said, once he was able to speak again.
"Oh great!" the beginner replied, "and you tell me NOW!!!!"
The pro fainted.
********************************
Ninety-four-year-old Mrs. Hatcher showed up at her lawyer's office one Monday morning.
"I want you to begin divorce proceedings," she announced.
The lawyer was aghast.
When he regained his composure, he said, "Mrs. Hatcher, you and your husband have been married for over seventy years.
What in the world could have happened to make you want to get divorced at this stage in your life?"
Mrs. Hatcher looked him squarely in the eye.
She cleared her throat and said, "We wanted to wait until all the children were dead."
********************************
Shizo Kanakuri has been celebrated as "Father of marathon" in Japan.
He is best known for disappearing during the marathon race in the 1912 Summer Olympics.
He lost his consciousness during the race due to the heat and was cared for by a farming family.
He returned to Japan without notifying race officials.
Swedish authorities considered him missing for 50 years before discovering that he was living in Japan and had competed in intervening Olympic marathons.
In 1966 he was contacted by Swedish Television and offered to complete his run.
He accepted and completed the Marathon in 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 20.3 seconds.
Surely a record that will last forever!
*****************************
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Some Hilarious One Liners
1. I say no to alcohol, It just doesn't listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way You're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..
7. Born free, Taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, Some just don't have film..
9. Life is unsure; Always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, It makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, You'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, They are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... What I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, Why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, Are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, Leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, Confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, So, I made your horn louder!
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.
24. The cigarette does the smoking, You are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week.
26. Whenever I find the key to success, Someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, To forgive is not a company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, But, if you think again, neither does milk.
30. In order to get a loan, You first need to prove that you don't need it.
And my favorite ...
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way You're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..
7. Born free, Taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, Some just don't have film..
9. Life is unsure; Always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, It makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, You'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, They are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... What I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, Why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, Are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, Leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, Confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, So, I made your horn louder!
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.
24. The cigarette does the smoking, You are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week.
26. Whenever I find the key to success, Someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, To forgive is not a company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, But, if you think again, neither does milk.
30. In order to get a loan, You first need to prove that you don't need it.
And my favorite ...
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Classroom humor
Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!"
... the teacher fainted!
"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ass!"
... the teacher fainted!
Thinking on your feet
A man walked into the produce section of a Florida Publix supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some a**@#$*e wants to buy a half head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he....added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "
Kentucky , sir." the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Kentucky ?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and basketball players up there."
"Really?" said the manager, "My wife is from Kentucky ."
"No kidding?", replied the boy, "Who'd she play for?"
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some a**@#$*e wants to buy a half head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he....added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "
Kentucky , sir." the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Kentucky ?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and basketball players up there."
"Really?" said the manager, "My wife is from Kentucky ."
"No kidding?", replied the boy, "Who'd she play for?"
Alternate Definitions
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
Friday, September 18, 2009
WHY INDIANS GET ATTACKED ABROAD?
It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.
'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'
She heard a loud whisper: 'Fuck the Indians,'
'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'
At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'
Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'
Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997'
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'
Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson (RIP) to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'
And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was the American people, November 4th,
2008".(recession)
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.
'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?''
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'
She heard a loud whisper: 'Fuck the Indians,'
'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'
At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'
Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'
Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997'
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'
Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson (RIP) to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'
And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was the American people, November 4th,
2008".(recession)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The Shortest Story
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were: The short story had to contain the following three things:
(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery
Below is the only A+ short story in the entire class.
"Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it."
(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery
Below is the only A+ short story in the entire class.
"Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it."
And that's how the fight started ...
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
As a Christmas gift..
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the Gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
*********************************************************************
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started....
*********************************************************************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we
were In bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to ?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....
*********************************************************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the
beer Would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started......
*********************************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my Order first..
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....
*********************************************************************
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
The channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
======================================================================
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming Anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
==========================================================
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
Reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as He sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her , 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many
Years Ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said, 'who would think a
Person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started....
===========================================================
I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were
Alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You Know How sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem Funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...
=====================================================================
THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
Kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
First, the truck, the car, playing golf '
Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When
I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
Busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the
House. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed
Her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,
You might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors said I might walk again, but I will always have a limp
As a Christmas gift..
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the Gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
*********************************************************************
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started....
*********************************************************************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we
were In bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to ?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....
*********************************************************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the
beer Would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started......
*********************************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my Order first..
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....
*********************************************************************
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
The channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
======================================================================
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming Anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
==========================================================
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
Reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as He sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her , 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many
Years Ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said, 'who would think a
Person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started....
===========================================================
I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were
Alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You Know How sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem Funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...
=====================================================================
THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
Kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
First, the truck, the car, playing golf '
Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When
I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
Busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the
House. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed
Her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,
You might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors said I might walk again, but I will always have a limp
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Male & Female Perspectives Of Evolution
A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?'
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his..'
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his..'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)