Response to Men are just happier people

One of my friends (and you can certainly guess whether he/she) sent me this in "response" to my earlier "Men are just happier people" post :)

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Okay I agree with this statement

Your last name stays put. (So can ours with a -)

The garage is all yours. ( have you SEEN my garage?)

Wedding plans take care of themselves.(yeah gotta love the wedding fairy)

Chocolate is just another snack. ( for us it's one of the four food groups)

You can be President. ( so can WE)

You can never be pregnant. ( but you can and DO suffer from PMS minus the bleeding!)

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. ( so can we, infact it often gets us to the front of the line)

Car mechanics tell you the truth. ( some of us work on our own cars)

The world is your urinal. ( that's just gross!)

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. ( that's because "The world is your urinal",,, gross)

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.(righty tighty lefty loosy)

Same work, more pay. ( I believe we make the same hourly wage MR.)

Wrinkles add character.(that's what we women tell you to your face)

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental- $100. ( handed down wedding dress from mom.$0)

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. ( HUH? LMAO)

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. (I noticed there is no comment about the OTHER gas explosive area)

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.(Men don't get blisters?)

One mood all the time. ( Yeah right!!!!!!!)

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.( this does NOT apply to teenaged males)

You know stuff about tanks. (you're welcome)

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. (because you men will wear the same outfit for a week straight unless we tell you that you stink)

You can open all your own jars.(never needed a man to do this for me)

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. ( because that is usally such a rare occurance)

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. (sometimes)

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. (.88 each at Walmart)

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. ( hence the foot odor)

You almost never have strap problems in public. ( yet you are constantly readjusting " things downstairs")

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.( because women Iron them for you)

Everything on your face stays its original color. ( yeah that grey beard and mustache... you were born with it)

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.(but we don't go bald)

You only have to shave your face and neck. (got us on that one)

You can play with toys all your life.( our "toys" have more speeds )

Your belly usually hides your big hips.(and what's between them)

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. ( I thought 3 pair of shoes was enough)

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.( and we point and laugh at your white legs and black socks behind your backs)

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.(again... gross)

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.. (some more than others)

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.( and how we LOVE getting gas station gifts)

No wonder men are happier!! "What do you expect from such simple creatures"