Wednesday, January 24, 2007

(American) Thoughts for 2007

#10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

#9 - Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

#8 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

#7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

#6 - Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

#5 - Health nuts are going to feel real stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.

#4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???

#2 - In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE #1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

No comments: