Thursday, September 15, 2005

Innocence ...

A little boy went up to his mother one day while holding his stomach and said, "Mum, my stomach hurts." His mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"
Later that day when the Priest was over for dinner, the Priest began to feel sick. Holding his head he said, "I have a very bad headache!"
The little boy looked up at him giving him the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then he said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"

Putting the world together
A father who was trying to read a magazine was being bothered by his little daughter, Jane. So, he took a sheet out of his magazine, where the map of the world was printed.
He tore it into small pieces, gave it to Jane, and said, "Go into the other room and try to put this together."
In a few minutes, Jane came back and gave him the map correctly fixed together. The father was very surprised and asked how she had finished so fast.
"Oh", she said, "on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got Jesus in His place, then the world came out all right."

Sob story
One day, I saw two little girls crying a lot on a bench in the park.
Thinking they might be hurt, I went over and asked them. "Are you all right?"
Still crying, one girl showed me her doll and said, "My baby's arm came off."
I took the doll from the girl and soon fixed her arm. "Thank you." came a whisper.
Next, I asked her friend, "and what's the matter with you, young lady?" She wiped her cheeks and said, "I was helping her cry."

Green lies
A 4-year-old boy was asked to say thanks before Christmas dinner. He began his prayer thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the fruit salad, the pies and all the cool cakes. Then he paused, and everyone waited -- and waited. After a long silence, the boy looked up at his mother and asked,
"If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"

Barf Box
A nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling sick. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?"
"No" her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!"
"Then go out through the front door to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."
In two minutes the little girl came back to her seat.
"Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes" the girl replied.
"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so fast?"
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."

One Sunday, a small boy was being difficult during the 10 o'clock Mass. The parents tried to keep their child quiet, but that didn't work very well.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and carried the boy outside.
Just before they reached the door, the boy yelled loudly to the people, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

Still here?
One day, a father was at the beach with his family, when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, led him to the shore and showed him a seagull that lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" asked the little boy.
"He died and went to Heaven," his dad answered.
The boy thought a moment and then said, "So, did God throw him back down?"

During a children's sermon, the priest asked the children what "Amen" meant.
A little child raised her hand and said, "It means 'That's all folks'!"