Thursday, September 15, 2005

Husbands and Healthcare

How does a typical husband respond when his wife comes down with a cold?

In the first year of marriage: "Sugar Dumpling, I'm really worried about my baby girl. You've got a bad sniffle, and there's no telling about these things with all the terrible viruses that are going around these days. I'm taking you to the hospital, dear, where I've reserved a private room for you. I know the food's lousy, so I'll be bringing your meals in from Rozzini's. I've already made all the arrangements with the floor superintendent."

Second year of marriage: "Listen, Darling, I don't like the sound of that cough and I've called the doctor to rush right over. Now you go to bed like a good girl, and I'll take care of everything."

Third year: "Maybe you'd better lie down, Honey. Nothing like a little rest when you're feeling lousy. I'll bring you something. Do we have any canned soup?"

Fourth year: "Now look, Dear, be sensible. After you feed the kids, do the dishes, and mop the floor, you'd better get some rest."

Fifth year: "Why don't you take a couple aspirin?"

Sixth year: "If you'd just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal all night..."

Seventh year: "For Pete's sake, stop that sneezing! What are you trying to do, give me pneumonia?"