Saturday, June 18, 2005

Things Stressed Women Say at Work

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you.
2. You say I'm a b**ch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I LOOK like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
15. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
16. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
17. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
18. Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.
19. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
20. You look like crap. Is that the style now?
21. I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
22. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
23. A balanced diet is chocolate in each hand.