Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back alley. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood.

"Help me, I've been mugged and viciously beaten." he pleaded.

The two social workers turned and walked away.

One remarked to her colleague, "You know the person that did this really needs help."


Some are good comeback lines for bad pickup lines:

# I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

# I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

# I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

# I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

# I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

# The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

# I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

# Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

# I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

# I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

# It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

# No, my powers can only be used for good.

# How about *never*? Is *never* good for you?

# I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

# Who, me? I just wander from room to room.

# It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

# At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

# You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

# I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

# Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.