Thursday, June 02, 2005

Cool definitions

TRAFFIC LIGHT: apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

PIONEER: early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE: some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL: a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL: the ability to eat only one peanut.

CANNIBAL: person who likes to see other people stewed.

EGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are.

FOREIGN FILM: any movie shown in Texas theatre that isn't a western.

MAGAZINE: bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places that deliver pizza.

OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself."

BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.

TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

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