A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.
He then asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: "Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie."
Confused, the man went to his Rabbi who would surely know the correct answer. He told him of the conflicting advice he had received, and asked what he should do.
"Let me tell you a story," replied the Rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. Her mother advised, Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck and wool socks."
But when the woman asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice: "Wear your sexiest negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel."
The man did not understand. "But, Rabbi, what does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"
"It doesn't matter what you wear," replied the Rabbi, "You're going to get screwed."