Friday, September 24, 2004

More blonde jokes ...

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms."

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The world's most avid baseball fan, a blonde, had arrived early at the stadium for the first game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that she had left her ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, she went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour's wait she was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Linda!"

She looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice -- with no success.

Then she realized she had lost her place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again.

After she had purchased her ticket, she was thirsty, so she went to buy a beer. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But since the game hadn't started she decided to wait. Just as she got to the window, a voice called out "Hey, Linda!"

Again she tried to find the voice and got out of line as she wandered looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck.

The blonde was very upset as she got back in line for her beer.

Finally she had her beer and took her seat eager for the game to begin. As she waited for the first pitch, she heard the voice calling, "Hey, Linda!" once more.

Furious, she stood up and yelled a the top of her lungs,

"My name's not Linda!"

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