Monday, August 30, 2004

Non-living things have a gender

1. Ziploc Bags -- Male. They hold everything in but you can see right through them.

2. Copiers -- Female. Once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3. Tire -- Male. It goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4. Hot Air Balloon -- Male. To get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5. Sponges -- Female. They're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6. Web Page -- Female. It's always getting hit on.

7. Subway -- Male. It uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8. Hourglass -- Female. Over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9. Hammer -- Male. It hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years but it's handy to have around.

10. Remote Control -- Female. You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

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