Monday, August 02, 2004

Funniest answers for History questions ...

The following are actual essay answers from school (USA) history quizzes. The spellings have been left as they were.

1. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

2. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire's in the East and the sun sets in the West.

3. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

4. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

5. The great author John Milton wrote paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

6. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays

7. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

8. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

9. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

10. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

11. The climate of the Saraha is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

12. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

13. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

14. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.

15. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

16. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.