Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Senators in heaven...

While walking down the street one day, a female senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the lady.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and down she went to Hell.

The doors opened, and she found herself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all her friends and other politicians who had worked with her.

Everyone is very happy. They run to greet her, hug her, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dined on lobster and caviar.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who dances and tells jokes. They had such a good time that before she realized it, it's time to go.

Everyone gave her a big hug and waved while the elevator rose.

The elevator went up, up, up, and the door reopened in Heaven where St. Peter was waiting for her.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven." Twenty-four hours pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing harps and singing hymns. They have a tranquil, peaceful time, and before she
realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now, choose the place where you want to spend eternity."

She reflected for a minute and then answered: "Well, I would never have thought it before I got here, but even though Heaven has been delightful, I think I would be better off in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorted her to the elevator, and down, down, down she went to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened, she found herself in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. She saw all her friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.

The Devil came over to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and we danced and had a great time. Now this is nothing but a wasteland full of garbage, and my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her in mock sympathy, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted for us!"